BY COURTNEY PURDY, PSY.D.
Therapy and mental health services are often associated with a crisis, a diagnosis, or a time when life feels overwhelming. It’s easy to assume that therapy is only for when things fall apart, rather than a resource that can support us as we navigate everyday life. Sometimes, the decision to seek support begins with a desire to understand ourselves better, change a pattern, or engage with life in a way that feels more aligned with our values. Yet, misconceptions about therapy can prevent us from considering whether it might be helpful.
A common misconception is that “My problems aren’t serious enough.”
It’s easy to compare our experiences to what we imagine others are going through. We might tell ourselves that other people have it worse or that, because we’re still managing our responsibilities, we shouldn’t need help. Life is not the Suffering Olympics. Functioning and feeling fulfilled aren’t necessarily the same thing. You can maintain relationships, show up to work, and meet your responsibilities while still feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or dissatisfied. You don’t have to reach a breaking point to benefit from support.
Another common misconception is that “I should be able to figure this out myself.”
Many of us value independence and self-sufficiency. We may believe that asking for help means we’re not capable of handling our own lives. We may also struggle with vulnerability, especially when opening up to someone who is effectively a stranger. Therapy isn’t about having someone tell you what to do. It can offer a different perspective, help you recognize patterns that are difficult to see on your own, and create space to consider new approaches to familiar challenges. You can be capable and resourceful while still benefiting from support.
“I don’t have a specific problem to work on” can also prevent someone from seeking therapy.
Sometimes, we know something doesn’t feel quite right, and we can’t explain why. We might feel stuck, uncertain about what comes next, or disconnected from the things that once brought us fulfillment. The good news is that you don’t need to arrive at therapy with a diagnosis, a clearly defined problem, or a list of goals. Figuring out what you want to explore is part of the process.
Another common belief is that “Therapy is only for when things get bad.”
Therapy can help with navigating a life transition, improving communication in a relationship, or understanding patterns before they become more disruptive. Sometimes, it’s helpful to explore ways to prevent fires rather than waiting until you need an extinguisher. It’s also worth considering the value of having a space that’s entirely for you. A space where no one needs anything from you, where you can explore your thoughts and feelings without feeling pressure to do anything about them. Therapy can offer an opportunity to simply notice, reflect, and understand, rather than immediately having to fix or change something.
Questions to help you consider whether therapy could be useful:
- Is there something in my life that feels harder than I’d like it to?
- Am I experiencing patterns I’d like to change?
- Is there a concern I find myself returning to repeatedly?
- Am I having difficulty navigating a decision, transition, or relationship?
- Do I sometimes struggle to identify what I want, need, or feel?
- Would I benefit from having a space to focus on my own experiences and needs?
- Am I interested in understanding myself better?
If these questions have you considering therapy, finding a provider whose approach aligns with your needs is an important next step.
Finding the right therapist can take time. Starting therapy can feel intimidating. Talking about personal experiences with someone new requires vulnerability, and it’s normal to feel nervous or uncertain about what to expect.
Sometimes, the first therapist you meet is a great fit. Other times, you may need to consult with a few providers before finding someone who feels right. Therapists differ in their personalities, communication styles, and approaches to treatment. A therapist can be qualified and capable without being the best match for you.
You might consider asking a potential therapist how they approach treatment, whether they have experience working with concerns like yours, and how they help patients identify and work toward their goals. You can also ask what a typical session looks like and how you can work together to determine whether therapy is helping. Even if you’re unsure what answers you’re looking for, paying attention to how a provider responds can offer useful insight into what it might be like to work with them. If a therapist doesn’t seem like the right fit, you can ask whether they have recommendations or referrals for someone who might better meet your needs.
You are allowed to have preferences, ask questions, and communicate concerns. Finding a good fit doesn’t mean every session will be comfortable, and you should feel respected, heard, and able to work collaboratively toward your goals.
Finally, starting therapy doesn’t mean you have to commit to an extended course of treatment. The length and frequency of therapy depend on your needs, goals, and circumstances. You can discuss these expectations with your therapist and revisit them as your needs change.
Courtney Purdy, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in Coping Skills, Relationship Issues and Anxiety. Areas of expertise include: Anger Management, Bisexual, Body Positivity, Depression, Family Conflict, Lesbian, LGBTQ+, Life Transitions, Mood Disorders, Peer Relationships, Personality Disorders, Self Esteem, Sleep or Insomnia, Stress, and Women’s Issues. To learn more about Dr. Purdy and to schedule a free 15 minute consultation, click here or call (561) 559-6371. For more information about Dr. Purdy and her practice, visit https://www.purdypsychology.com/.
